i am crazy about you, honey

Kate,

My heart is always yours. I want to place it in your hands and lift up your hands so that it is closer to where you can see and know that all it says is true. I wanted to be reassured that you still want to see me this weekend, but that reassurance would be redundant. I feel in this heart that you still do: I believe with everything that you understand how, by my anticipation of reading more of your words, I was blinded yesterday to what you had told me. I am so in love with you and won't let these antagonistic fears keep me from you. My love for you makes me want to be better.

God provides us with our enigmas. The energy of our lives, therefore, becomes spent in pursuit of the answers to the puzzle. My life has long been spent understanding these "mysteries of God." I wished to believe as they believed and bow down in a simple understanding as they seemed easily to do. Everyone but me seemed to glow with the evidence of God's love. My relationship has been for many years love/hate. With the grand scale of the universe, I was in awe. With the ability to love again, always transcending the pain, I was moved. With His encyclopedic knowledge of who we are, I was always reinvigorated, wanting to go and make such explorations into the Human state myself. But with constantly observing how He has planned happiness to be brief and sadness to be long-lived, I was disillusioned. Why fold into the arms of foiled love again to find, again, it is transient? Where was my happy ending? How could I possibly biography this while it lacks an uplifting message? Other people knew what I agonizingly pursued. There was no scheme to this puzzle. There was no way of resolving it. There was only mysteries and enigmas. Until one day while not expecting the answer to arrive, it did. You unraveled the mysteries for me. The enigma became toyish, less threatening. You became the answer I was always looking for.

Now I cannot stop thinking about you.

Forever my love,
John